Many times I read Instagram posts and blog posts from fellow MDs and even med students about how important it is to keep motivated when pursuing medicine and having a great support system can help you with that. I always knew these were key factors, but up until recently I didn’t realize how crucial they were to keeping you reassured that what you’re doing is right.
Recently I’ve been struggling with this new path of college, paired with my anxiety and knowing I’m going to be 265 miles away from home scares me far more than someone who doesn’t have anxiety. All my friends are excited to go away, and start anew. But then there’s me, confused and unsure if this decision to leave my childhood friends, and everything I know so well behind and pursue my dreams. There were points where I questioned if I wanted to go to college right now, if the time was right. Then there was the question if medicine was right, it was the only thing I was sure about until now, there has never been a back-up plan if this doesn’t work out. I never felt so conflicted and overwhelmed with myself and these important choices I was making.
It took a lot of self-conversations, and conversations with my friends for me to realize I was doing the right thing. For the first time, I was doing something right for me and nobody was going to take that away. There is so much in this city that I’m leaving behind…some of which are for the better, and other things (or should I say people) I wish I had more time to spend with. I had to trust myself and timing of the man upstairs to know that things were going to be okay. Without my friends and family’s constant support, I don’t think I would be able to go so far for school and be okay with it.
Having people that support you is one of the most important things I’m going to need over these next eight years. I know it’s going to come with a lot of rescheduled plans, trading nights out for nights in to study, and talks with my friends and family because sometimes letting it out is better than keeping it in, but I’m confidently all in. I’m finally going to be able to pursue what I’m most passionate about, the thing that I’ve been dreaming of since I was three years old. It’s my time.